Ohmeegoodness!

I am sure everybody has their own embarrassing moment. Oh yeaa...although we don't really want to remember those moments but somehow we can't get it off our mind. Even after 10 years, we will still remember every little detail of that embarrassing moment. Ahaha. Well let me share a few here. There was once I was talking on the phone with somebody and I actually fell asleep. I practically blanked out for about 10 minutes. Then he was like "Hello ai-li are you still there??!!!" and I woke up realising what just happened, desperately trying to save my ass from embarrassment I gave him the lamest excuse that I was actually thinking about something. It was the stupidest excuse ever but yet he believed me. That proves that guys are actually stupid. Lol. Another embarrassing moment that I remember happened when I was in primary school. One morning I was walking to class as usual and while I was walking my shoe lace came off. Being a normal kid, I bent down to tie my shoe lace but when I bent down I sneezed and I accidentally farted. AHAHAHA. After that I turned around hoping that nobody was behind me and guess what, there was a whole line of people behind me. I was so embarrassed that I just walked away and prayed that nobody heard me fart. Lawl. One time in church I was messing around with a friend and we were like pushing each other. He was sitting on the chair, I was standing up and our palms were against each others pushing as hard as possible. Suddenly my hand slipped and guess what. Boom! His palms and I mean PALMS were on my boobss!! Oh my goodness and he was 20 back then while I was 12 and I am quite sure he still remembers that incident. After that day I started wearing more padded bras and I never played that game anymore. Ahaha. Ok last but not the least just happened a few minutes ago. I was on facebook yesterday, I saw someone's status and I clicked on the liked it. So then she posted a thank you note with the word bibi at the end. Being a blur person in the middle of the night, it didn't hit me that she probably meant someone else so I commented oh no problem and etc etc. Then today I realised that she was talking to another girl and a few more person commented on her status. Well yea I made a fool out of myself again. Haha. I don't think I will ever stop embarrassing myself because this is me, truly me. And I guess I will just have to live with it and try my best to put it aside. If not, I will never facebook, go to church or even step out the house anymore. Anyways, I know I am going to regret posting this but who cares. Have a wonderful day peeps (=

Lost interest.

Recently my college friends has been planning outings but somehow I lost interest in joining them. Honestly I wonder why myself but I can't help it. Somehow they are still different. More Chinese educated and I am not saying that it's bad but they just don't think the way I do. Our thinking and perspective on things are so different. Their taste in things like clothes and accessories aren't similar and it ain't fun shopping with them. This is because nothing beats shopping with the girls cause we often agree on things. I fit in with them but sometimes I just miss those times where we don't have to try to fit in with each other. With the girls we just gel in and we don't even have to try. With this new bunch of college friends it is just so not right. People look at us differently like we are a bunch of nuts and all we do is destroy things. Which I understand perfectly why people look at us that way. It is because the way they act and do things that are just so embarrassing at times. Believe me. It's really really embarrassing. The more I mix with them the more I feel as if I don't fit it. They are all 18 but yet they behave like 7 year old's and their parents are constantly acting as if they are still babies. Oh my goodness. For goodness sake let your children grow up~! I give up. Now I realise that my college friends are just temporary friends that I will mix for the sake of mixing and at the end of the year we will all just move on with our lives. So whatever. I don't care anymore. Good night! P/s Girls thank you for being mature people!

Loving someone.

This is one thing I don't understand. People nowadays are allowed to marry whoever they want or rather love. At least most of us has that freedom. We get to choose who we want to marry but yet more and more people are getting divorce. Why is this happening? Isn't it a bit ironic to hear how much someone say they love their husband or wife but ends up getting divorce. Promise to love them forever and say other things like they will never leave each others side until the day that they die. But when something bad happens, all they do is point fingers at each other. Somehow anger steps in and overcomes the feeling of love. Then fighting occurs and they end up fighting so much that there comes a point where neither of them gives a damn anymore. But I often wonder what happened to the love they had for each other? Does love disappear that easily? What happened to forever?Well some of our family friends are going through some marital problems and they seem like they are together just for the sake of their kids. Honestly I feel like screaming at them and maybe that will wake them up. Firstly, they weren't forced to marry each other. They chose their life partner themselves. They fell in love but somehow after getting married they end up hating each other. Worse still, they don't even care about each other anymore. People often don't realise what they actually have until the day they loose it. Very often people say, I should have done this, I should have done that , I should have say said this, I should have said that but sadly these thoughts often comes after that person is no longer on this earth. Isn't it a little too late to regret or to express such thoughts. Does it really take death to make someone realise about how they feel? Is that the only time people find it suitable to forgive a person after they have left the earth? I don't understand. They are blessed enough to be able to marry someone they love. Some people aren't that blessed to have someone they love and some people loose their love ones to death. Why can't they see that they should appreciate every minute they have together. Instead of wasting it on fighting and hurting each other. Life is short and it is too short to waste it on those arguments. Love with all your heart and live life as if there is no tomorrow. This is a reminder to us that we should marry the one that we truly love and learn how to tolerate each others differences. And most of all make sure we never stop communicating with each other cause if communication stops, it means no turning back. Don't end up regretting at the end because it will be too late. That is all I have got to say so goodnight everbody.

Finally

After a few hours of bugging AL and uploading things here and there, I am finally done with my blog. As you can see that the fonts are bigger and easier to read (: Well thank you Alyssa Lee for showing and teaching me how to use all the new widgets. It is so much easier to add things to the blog now. Look on your right and you will be able to see photos of the girls, myself and our outings. Before I forget, we went to Neway last Saturday to celebrate our dear princess's birthday. At first it was really akward because that was actually my first time going to a karaoke. I was so shy and I didn't want to sing at all. AHAHA. Well that was pure bogus. It was really akward at first but as usual I warmed up pretty fast and I didn't want to let go of the mic for the rest the night. HAHA. Boy, I had fun screaming and yelling. And I realise that most of the time the lyrics I think I know and think it's correct turns out to be actually totally wrong. But what the heck, even the karaoke got some lyrics wrong. (= The manager almost kicked us out because of all the climbing we did in that room and the souvenir "we"*points fingers at AL* left probably tells us that we should go to redbox or somewhere else for the next couple of years. But one thing I can tell you, we really had fun and probably we should arrange the next outing to be in redbox. Ahaha. Ok finally updated about last Sat and therefore I am outta here. (=

Kotak Merah Sini Kami Datang (=

The past.

One guy that I use to have a huge crush on, came to church today after disappearing for a very long time. I started liking him when I was 11 and it lasted for 3 years. Ahahah. Can't believe I was that loyal back then. Anyways when I saw him stepping into church today, I couldn't breathe and I started panicking. Somehow I felt the need to impress him and to show him that I am all grown up now. After 5 years, my heart still races whenever he comes near me and I start to fumble. Don't get me wrong. I don't like him the way I use to but somehow I want to prove a point to him and myself that I grew up and moved on with my life even without him being apart of it. My life turned out great and I was desperate back then but now I am standing on my own two feet without him. But I can't deny that I loved him and I can't deny that he is a wonderful guy. I can't deny that he made me happy and guided me back to the right path. Those memories I shared with him will always remain deep down in my heart. And I can honestly say despite all the tears I shed, I never regretted a single day spend with him. He cared. He truly cared. I miss those times we use to talk and laugh. I miss everything we had. I miss him. And most of all I miss our friendship. Something we didn't maintain because he found someone else and I found someone else. We got too caught up with our own love lives that we forgot each other. I guess life is like that. Somehow we always look back and ask "What if?" But life is too short to end up regretting about the choices and risk you didn't take. So I took my risk, got my heart broken but that made me a stronger person inside. All these experiences made me who I am today. And I thank God because He constantly gave me strength. That's all for now. WTYL (:

4 days of nothing.

It has been 4 days since I have updated my blog ahaha. Don't know what to say or type but I will just go with the flow. Well I am planning to go down to Singapore for a short holiday and a wonderful shopping spree. Hehe (= But college friends are planning a trip out to genting. So which one? Ah I don't know. All I know is that the shopping sales in Singapore are just screaming out my name but genting sounds fun too. Ahahah (: I haven't made up my mind yet. So we shall see. Ahahah. Alright done updating. Keeping it short and simple. Nity nite. XOXO

Breaking walls.

When people get hurt, they "build" a wall around their hearts hoping that they will be able to keep their heart secured and try their best in making sure that their heart won't get broken again. Well at least they try or rather at least we all try to do that. But I am quite sure that all of us realise that, it is almost impossible to prevent hurt unless you are a robot or a heartless person. Getting hurt is a very painful process and it takes a long time to recover but it all depends on the human being of course. Recently I realise that I have been neglecting some people that I have been close with almost all my life and it caused a lot of damage in our relationship. I tried to repair our relationship but then I realise that it's a little to late cause the damage has been done. It really feels as if they have slipped away from your life and they remove you from theirs. Why does this happen? And what am I suppose to do now? Everytime I try talking to that person, she just shuts me off. Avoids answering my question and I know there are so many things going on in her life that she wants to tell me about. So many things are going on but I don't know a thing. I can't even talk to her anymore. Those walls around her heart are just too high and I can't get in. Suddenly I feel so left aside, and there are so many thoughts in my brain but I just can't let it out. This blog is all I have and this is the only place I can say what I want to say without feeling the need to twist my words in order to not offend anyone. And this is one of the reason why I changed my link again. Everyone keeps telling me "ai-li talk to her" and I feel like screaming back to them cause I tried, I really really tried but she doesn't let me in. The gap is getting bigger every second and there is no way to overcome that. Right now, I dunno what to feel, I dunno what to say. I don't even know where I stand in her heart anymore. What's going to happen to us? I don't know. All I can say now is I don't know anything at all. Nobody understands except for God of course. I am tired, I really am and all these things are just making me more tired. And misery just carries on. Goodnight everyone.

All by myself.

I am finally back into updating my blog since I got some readers following. AHAHA (= oh I am just kidding. But yea, I am back to updating my bloggie again so stick with me while I bring you through the most boring days of my life and the funnest days of my life. Oh back to the story relating to my title. First of all, Kir-ly, Nantanaa and Sarah ( note that the names are in alphabetical orders) came over for 3 days and 2 nights. Well they are back home safely and I am sure that they miss the sleepover just as much as I do. But I guess my neighbours are glad that its over after having to hear girls screaming and giggling all night. Ahaha but on the other hand the girls brought noise into my house which is something I miss, I must say. Haha (: Gone are the days where this house was so full until you fight with each other to use the toilet. Right now, I don't have to fight with anyone for the toilet and I got a room all to myself and 3 other rooms but somehow I wish that we could go back to those days where the house was overflowing with people. Ahaha. I guess human beings are all like that, always hoping for something else. But yet I thank the Lord for blessing me with everything I have right now and I am satisfied with whatever He blesses me with. Goodnight people and Gbu (:

Camp 2009.

After a few months of planning and all the excitement, the camp is finally over. Thank god it didn't turn out lame and we had lots of fun torturing the youths this year. Sadly the guest pastor we invited couldn't make it due to some difficulties but it wasn't that bad.Well currently I am sittting here surfing the net and facebooking after 3 days of no internet.Basically looking for things and getting updates about everything has made me realise that I really miss the camp alot. So much that I would give up my internet connection and spend more time with the youth. Although somethings didn't go as planned but I believe we enjoyed each others company. This is our first year organising a camp and hopefully next year's camp would be better. God has blessed us throughout this camp and we had fun, a lot of fun. Well we shall carry on with our lives and look forward to the next camp. Time to go cheer myself up and feel more alive now. Tata (: