Metal piece.

My heart is like a metal piece that gets drawn to a magnet.
Right now, I hope that the magnet will turn up at my door.
Cause the other magnet seems to have a stronger magnetic force.

I find it harder to hold back.
I need to see you to feel alright again.
It's not that I have fallen in love with you.
But I just need to you to keep me away from the other.

My family is here with me for two weeks.
And that is all I shall blog about.
Nite humans.

Uncomplicated complication.

He has liked her for 10 months now, and even if we click who the heck cares right.
I thought finally, an uncomplicated fun.
Uncomplicated my arse.
My brain has gone futher than my heart.
I should just stop here now cause I don't see hope.
10 months is long for someone to like someone.
But he hasn't done anything yet.
The worse part is that he said 'I want something that will last and not just be a fling'.
What are the odds of his changing his heart about her.
A negative 100%
Therefore he is just simply offlimits.

Lost interest.

Recently my college friends has been planning outings but somehow I lost interest in joining them. Honestly I wonder why myself but I can't help it. Somehow they are still different. More Chinese educated and I am not saying that it's bad but they just don't think the way I do. Our thinking and perspective on things are so different. Their taste in things like clothes and accessories aren't similar and it ain't fun shopping with them. This is because nothing beats shopping with the girls cause we often agree on things. I fit in with them but sometimes I just miss those times where we don't have to try to fit in with each other. With the girls we just gel in and we don't even have to try. With this new bunch of college friends it is just so not right. People look at us differently like we are a bunch of nuts and all we do is destroy things. Which I understand perfectly why people look at us that way. It is because the way they act and do things that are just so embarrassing at times. Believe me. It's really really embarrassing. The more I mix with them the more I feel as if I don't fit it. They are all 18 but yet they behave like 7 year old's and their parents are constantly acting as if they are still babies. Oh my goodness. For goodness sake let your children grow up~! I give up. Now I realise that my college friends are just temporary friends that I will mix for the sake of mixing and at the end of the year we will all just move on with our lives. So whatever. I don't care anymore. Good night! P/s Girls thank you for being mature people!

How do you let go?

Last year, I worked on a play for the Christmas presentation but I left it with her to complete it. But when I saw the play today after such a long time, I felt a certain sore in my heart like after I left she took over the play, changed some scene and added on some stuff. I felt like someone stole a whole chunk of my life, replaced me for that brief period I was gone. She took him and the play away from me. I don't hate her instead I love her but it just stings a little and I can't help it. Cause every time I look at a video seeing them together, it still kills me a little inside. Don't like him no more but the damage has been done and nothing can change that fact. I feel like screaming at him with these words " You killed me the day you chose her over me". Why do I feel like screaming those words, I dunno. I feel nothing when I see him now or maybe I have been living in denial but honestly even if I had feelings for him now, I would bury it deep deep down and forget it no matter what. I will never like him again because she owned him once and I can't never live with that fact that he was once hers. Help me explain this even I can't figure this out.

Oh boy, I'm in a very big mess (:

Frustrated.

I went for Lee hom's concert today although most of the time I don't know what is he singing but it was awesomeee~! That was the fun part of the week. Now back to the frustrating part of the week. He is so insensitive, blur and definitely do not pass as a gentlemen. I hate him a lot. My feelings are so erratic. Oh my goodness, I am currently in between of guys and none of them can be taken seriously. When I decide to stick to one, he goes into a relationship and I am back to square one. Every time I move one step forward, I will take ten steps backward. Cat is so dumb and slow in picking up things. Honestly, I feel neglected by him. Every time he entertains my other friends more than me. Stupid idiot with a brain slower than a pig. He clearly cares for other people more than me and this is clearly a sign that I should stay away from him. Oh I am too tired and can't be bother about him anymore. I am outta here. Tata (=

The crap.

Since I have no where else to complain about this or rather don't want to cause anymore havoc anywhere else anymore. Here it is. You know what, I like a guy who thinks I like another guy. Sigh...what shall I do about that? But yet sometimes I find it easier to like that guy that everybody thinks "I like." People who knows who I like ain't helping much by rubbing it in more in my face by doing somethings which totally send the wrong message to the guy I don't really like. Confusing huh? I know. It's frustrating how sometimes when you tell someone something and they get too involve in it can cause a lot of havoc! I was happy just now and now my mood is just ruined. I hate this. I really do. One problem after another. This is really getting out of hand. I am speechless at this moment. No idea how to solve this problems I am facing. I shall end this post with a famous saying "Whatever and anything. "

Frustration.

I find it rather funny how someone can live on with life even after they have destroyed another person's life. It's funny how someone can actually claim that they love someone and break up with them the next day. It's funny how people can promise to love that person forever and ends up hating them. Honestly things are so funny that I can't even laugh about it. I am confused about how I feel. I moved on with my life but yet I still dwell in the past. My past is still haunting me everyday and I can't help but compare the guy that I use to like and the guy that I like now. Something is stopping me from trusting my instinct and judgment about him a.k.a the new guy that I like. Another friend of mine likes him and I am worried that I will get hurt again. That is why I keep looking for his flaws to make sure that I don't fall for him deeply. Once upon a time, I opened my heart and trusted with all my heart but I ended up hurt. How can I be sure that this time, it will be different? Someone else already likes him and I am not sure whether I want to get involve in this. I can't hear myself speak anymore. My heart races every time he comes near and I can't control it. Stupid feelings why can't they just fade away? He is so annoying! Every time I get a picture of a beautiful moment, he destroys it by doing something really stupid. Fine I am gonna admit that I get Jealous every time he calls her and ask about her. I can't stop this crazy mind of mine from wondering about the possibilities that he likes her. I get jealous when he rubs another girls back. I get jealous coz I am an unreasonable girl! Right Nantanaa? Anyways I am glad you got started with your blog :) Gotta go talk to that bitch of mine. Tata.