Finally

After a few hours of bugging AL and uploading things here and there, I am finally done with my blog. As you can see that the fonts are bigger and easier to read (: Well thank you Alyssa Lee for showing and teaching me how to use all the new widgets. It is so much easier to add things to the blog now. Look on your right and you will be able to see photos of the girls, myself and our outings. Before I forget, we went to Neway last Saturday to celebrate our dear princess's birthday. At first it was really akward because that was actually my first time going to a karaoke. I was so shy and I didn't want to sing at all. AHAHA. Well that was pure bogus. It was really akward at first but as usual I warmed up pretty fast and I didn't want to let go of the mic for the rest the night. HAHA. Boy, I had fun screaming and yelling. And I realise that most of the time the lyrics I think I know and think it's correct turns out to be actually totally wrong. But what the heck, even the karaoke got some lyrics wrong. (= The manager almost kicked us out because of all the climbing we did in that room and the souvenir "we"*points fingers at AL* left probably tells us that we should go to redbox or somewhere else for the next couple of years. But one thing I can tell you, we really had fun and probably we should arrange the next outing to be in redbox. Ahaha. Ok finally updated about last Sat and therefore I am outta here. (=

Kotak Merah Sini Kami Datang (=

The past.

One guy that I use to have a huge crush on, came to church today after disappearing for a very long time. I started liking him when I was 11 and it lasted for 3 years. Ahahah. Can't believe I was that loyal back then. Anyways when I saw him stepping into church today, I couldn't breathe and I started panicking. Somehow I felt the need to impress him and to show him that I am all grown up now. After 5 years, my heart still races whenever he comes near me and I start to fumble. Don't get me wrong. I don't like him the way I use to but somehow I want to prove a point to him and myself that I grew up and moved on with my life even without him being apart of it. My life turned out great and I was desperate back then but now I am standing on my own two feet without him. But I can't deny that I loved him and I can't deny that he is a wonderful guy. I can't deny that he made me happy and guided me back to the right path. Those memories I shared with him will always remain deep down in my heart. And I can honestly say despite all the tears I shed, I never regretted a single day spend with him. He cared. He truly cared. I miss those times we use to talk and laugh. I miss everything we had. I miss him. And most of all I miss our friendship. Something we didn't maintain because he found someone else and I found someone else. We got too caught up with our own love lives that we forgot each other. I guess life is like that. Somehow we always look back and ask "What if?" But life is too short to end up regretting about the choices and risk you didn't take. So I took my risk, got my heart broken but that made me a stronger person inside. All these experiences made me who I am today. And I thank God because He constantly gave me strength. That's all for now. WTYL (:

4 days of nothing.

It has been 4 days since I have updated my blog ahaha. Don't know what to say or type but I will just go with the flow. Well I am planning to go down to Singapore for a short holiday and a wonderful shopping spree. Hehe (= But college friends are planning a trip out to genting. So which one? Ah I don't know. All I know is that the shopping sales in Singapore are just screaming out my name but genting sounds fun too. Ahahah (: I haven't made up my mind yet. So we shall see. Ahahah. Alright done updating. Keeping it short and simple. Nity nite. XOXO

Breaking walls.

When people get hurt, they "build" a wall around their hearts hoping that they will be able to keep their heart secured and try their best in making sure that their heart won't get broken again. Well at least they try or rather at least we all try to do that. But I am quite sure that all of us realise that, it is almost impossible to prevent hurt unless you are a robot or a heartless person. Getting hurt is a very painful process and it takes a long time to recover but it all depends on the human being of course. Recently I realise that I have been neglecting some people that I have been close with almost all my life and it caused a lot of damage in our relationship. I tried to repair our relationship but then I realise that it's a little to late cause the damage has been done. It really feels as if they have slipped away from your life and they remove you from theirs. Why does this happen? And what am I suppose to do now? Everytime I try talking to that person, she just shuts me off. Avoids answering my question and I know there are so many things going on in her life that she wants to tell me about. So many things are going on but I don't know a thing. I can't even talk to her anymore. Those walls around her heart are just too high and I can't get in. Suddenly I feel so left aside, and there are so many thoughts in my brain but I just can't let it out. This blog is all I have and this is the only place I can say what I want to say without feeling the need to twist my words in order to not offend anyone. And this is one of the reason why I changed my link again. Everyone keeps telling me "ai-li talk to her" and I feel like screaming back to them cause I tried, I really really tried but she doesn't let me in. The gap is getting bigger every second and there is no way to overcome that. Right now, I dunno what to feel, I dunno what to say. I don't even know where I stand in her heart anymore. What's going to happen to us? I don't know. All I can say now is I don't know anything at all. Nobody understands except for God of course. I am tired, I really am and all these things are just making me more tired. And misery just carries on. Goodnight everyone.

All by myself.

I am finally back into updating my blog since I got some readers following. AHAHA (= oh I am just kidding. But yea, I am back to updating my bloggie again so stick with me while I bring you through the most boring days of my life and the funnest days of my life. Oh back to the story relating to my title. First of all, Kir-ly, Nantanaa and Sarah ( note that the names are in alphabetical orders) came over for 3 days and 2 nights. Well they are back home safely and I am sure that they miss the sleepover just as much as I do. But I guess my neighbours are glad that its over after having to hear girls screaming and giggling all night. Ahaha but on the other hand the girls brought noise into my house which is something I miss, I must say. Haha (: Gone are the days where this house was so full until you fight with each other to use the toilet. Right now, I don't have to fight with anyone for the toilet and I got a room all to myself and 3 other rooms but somehow I wish that we could go back to those days where the house was overflowing with people. Ahaha. I guess human beings are all like that, always hoping for something else. But yet I thank the Lord for blessing me with everything I have right now and I am satisfied with whatever He blesses me with. Goodnight people and Gbu (: