Camp 2009.

After a few months of planning and all the excitement, the camp is finally over. Thank god it didn't turn out lame and we had lots of fun torturing the youths this year. Sadly the guest pastor we invited couldn't make it due to some difficulties but it wasn't that bad.Well currently I am sittting here surfing the net and facebooking after 3 days of no internet.Basically looking for things and getting updates about everything has made me realise that I really miss the camp alot. So much that I would give up my internet connection and spend more time with the youth. Although somethings didn't go as planned but I believe we enjoyed each others company. This is our first year organising a camp and hopefully next year's camp would be better. God has blessed us throughout this camp and we had fun, a lot of fun. Well we shall carry on with our lives and look forward to the next camp. Time to go cheer myself up and feel more alive now. Tata (:

It's too soon.

Nantanaa is leaving Ausmat and tomorrow is her last day with us. She is a good friend and we just bonded instantly in a short period of time. So many friends are planning to leave Ausmat and that makes me feel like leaving too. It's only another 4 more months minusing all the holidays and study leave. Everyday we are getting closer to the end of the program but yet so many are leaving. It just ruins everything. This sucks, really sucks. Nandy, you have been a terrific friend and it breaks our heart to know that tomorrow is your last day with us. I know we haven't been friends for a long time but you know what this 5 months of friendship seems like we have known each other since forever and this is a friendship that I will cherish for life. You made me fall in love with you and you made an impact in our lives. We will never forget you and I hope you will never forget us. This world definitely needs a friend like you and I have been blessed by God to have an opportunity to have shared this wonderful 5 months with you. God bless you and may the path you take after this, be a path that will lead you to success. Amen. P/s you will always be in my prayer.

How do you let go?

Last year, I worked on a play for the Christmas presentation but I left it with her to complete it. But when I saw the play today after such a long time, I felt a certain sore in my heart like after I left she took over the play, changed some scene and added on some stuff. I felt like someone stole a whole chunk of my life, replaced me for that brief period I was gone. She took him and the play away from me. I don't hate her instead I love her but it just stings a little and I can't help it. Cause every time I look at a video seeing them together, it still kills me a little inside. Don't like him no more but the damage has been done and nothing can change that fact. I feel like screaming at him with these words " You killed me the day you chose her over me". Why do I feel like screaming those words, I dunno. I feel nothing when I see him now or maybe I have been living in denial but honestly even if I had feelings for him now, I would bury it deep deep down and forget it no matter what. I will never like him again because she owned him once and I can't never live with that fact that he was once hers. Help me explain this even I can't figure this out.

Oh boy, I'm in a very big mess (:

Update!

Here I am to update this blog of mine. I am having a hard time deciding and right now I don't want to think about the lovey dovey stuff just yet. I am already a very confused person and thinking about all this, just makes things worse. There are so many things going on simultaneously, sometimes it makes it difficult for me to breath. Tonight, I just feel like having the longest bath and just relax. Sometimes, life gets too busy and we just forget to breath at times. Never felt so lost in my own world before. Lets dump those things aside and talk about something else. Here is something that I learned in my life that I would like to share with everyone which is the art of apologizing. I realized that this is actually very important. Sometimes we find it hard to apologize because most of the time we let our pride get in the way. From time to time, we all make mistakes and most of the time we will be busy pointing fingers at other people but ourselves. I can't deny that I find it hard to say sorry to someone. But I am learning now, I am saying sorry when I make a mistake and I am admitting my mistakes . Well to me that is a big step I took but I am glad I did it. Alrighto enough for the night. TATA (=

Frustrated.

I went for Lee hom's concert today although most of the time I don't know what is he singing but it was awesomeee~! That was the fun part of the week. Now back to the frustrating part of the week. He is so insensitive, blur and definitely do not pass as a gentlemen. I hate him a lot. My feelings are so erratic. Oh my goodness, I am currently in between of guys and none of them can be taken seriously. When I decide to stick to one, he goes into a relationship and I am back to square one. Every time I move one step forward, I will take ten steps backward. Cat is so dumb and slow in picking up things. Honestly, I feel neglected by him. Every time he entertains my other friends more than me. Stupid idiot with a brain slower than a pig. He clearly cares for other people more than me and this is clearly a sign that I should stay away from him. Oh I am too tired and can't be bother about him anymore. I am outta here. Tata (=